Application for Permission to date my daughter!

Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, work history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

1. Name: ________________________________________

DOB: ______________

2. Height: _______ Weight: ________ I.Q.: ________

GPA: ___________

3. SSAN: ____________ Bank Account #: _____________

PIN #: _________

4. Highest Boy Scout Rank Attained? _______________________________________

Year Attained: __________

Troop Leader's Name: ______________________

5. Home Address:

______________________________________________ _

Telephone: ___________________

E-mail Address: ____________________

6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?

__________________________

If no, explain:
_______________________________________________

7. Do you own...
A van? _____ A motorcycle? _____
Truck with oversized tires? ______
Waterbed? _____ Do you have an earring? _____
Nose ring? _____ Belly button ring? _____

Note: if the answer is YES to any part of Question 7, discontinue application and leave premises.

8. In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________

9. In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY
DAUGHTER mean to you?
_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________

10. In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?

_______________________________________________
_______________________________________________

11. Church attended? _________________________
How often? _________________

12. When would be the best time to interview your...
Mother? __________ Father? __________
Pastor/Priest? __________

13. Answer the following section by filling in the blank. Please answer freely...all answers are confidential. (That means that I won't share with other fathers...unless provoked!)
A: If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is my: _______________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: _______________________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the: _______________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application doesn't do is: _______________________________________________
E: When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice is her: _______________________________________________

(Note: If the above answer starts with "T" or "A" discontinue application and leave premises, keeping low to the ground in a serpentine fashion.)

15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? _______________________________________________


I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE, UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, HILLARY CLINTON/JANET RENO KISS TORTURE, AND RIP-THE-STEREO-FROM-MY-CAR TORTURE.


___________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name!)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write...it will only delay the process.

For office use only: File __ Destroy __ Kill ___